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Tuesday, 21 April 2015

That doesn't give you the permission to assault me

I've been noticing a lot of females on social media opening up about their personal experiences being ogled, cat-called and yes, even physically and sexually assaulted so I decided to dedicate this post to just that.
Yes, I know males get assaulted too but we can't deny it is nowhere near the frequency with which females do. 
I have a love/hate relationship with Spring and Summer because yes I get to wear less clothing but unfortunately it calls for unwanted attention and advances from men who can become quite aggressive and scary.

I have actually been left shaken on several occasions when I was taking blog photos alone and had guys approach me. It's times like that when I wonder, "Hmm, Brenda if something happens to you here, you will say you were doing it for the blog. Would it have been worth it?"
 First, let's get one thing clear. Just because I am wearing a bustier and a revealing skirt (such as the one below), that does not give you the right to try and grab my hand as I walk by you. That my friend may get you a slap. I used to be so shy and think that if a guy cat-calls and tries to grab your attention (literally) then I should take it as a compliment and be flattered and all but as I've matured, I realized there is a HUGE difference between politely letting a woman know she looks good versus degrading her. The difference fellas? Just ask yourself, "If I had a sister, would I be happy if a guy did to her what I do to women?" That's it. 
 Some guys will start all nice and once you turn them down, start hurling all sorts of profanity at you as if they didn't just try to get in your pants. All of a sudden you're a slut, you're fat, he wasn't even into you anyways. All because you hurt his ego. 
I was once chilling at McDonald's with some friends after a long night of partying when this man was trying to talk to one of my friends. She wasn't the least interested and politely turned him down but he kept on going. My friends and I proceeded to remind him that our friend had said NO and boy did this young man turn into a monster. All of a sudden it became a war of words. I was the "ugly legged girl", another one of my friends was the "fat girl", all because he needed to find a way to come out on top of that embarrassing situation.
 I used to hate wearing shorts and short dresses during the summer for fear of bringing too much attention to myself and getting name-called but guess what? It's my and our God given right ladies to dress however we want and no man has the right to degrade you or make you feel uncomfortable about your appearance. Why do I have to cover up because you can't control your hormones? Don't get me wrong, by all means I try to avoid unnecessarily putting myself in harm's way, say for example walking all alone to a convenience store at night in a mini dress, but why do I have to have my guard up in broad daylight while chilling with my friends?  It is what it is and I'll be taking all the precautionary measures this summer to keep myself protected because let's face it, crazy things and people are out there. I'm trying to get some pepper spray online-because it's so hard to buy it in stores in Canada and I tend to carry flats in my bag during the Summer as well-you never know when you may have to run!
 So the next time you think about whistling, clapping, name-calling me or grabbing my hand, why don't you try coming with a "Good day, how do you do? I just wanted to let you know you look beautiful today." and keep it moving. I promise you, I will be nice to you.

Oh, here are the rest of the photos :)

 photo 1-DSC07104_zpsznaadxhi.jpg
 photo 1-DSC07151_zpspiei8yqn.jpg  photo 1-DSC07152_zpskdtrsejq.jpg

 photo 1-DSC07155_zpsgzxi6wy7.jpg
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P.S. I broke my camera during this shoot. The wind was blowing so hard, my camera and tripod fell! It still takes photos but the flash is messed up. Oh well...

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